Speak

Currently, I am home sick with the flu. And this morning, I lost my voice for the first time in my life.

To say the least, it's been an interesting experience. I speak in whispers at the loudest and I think I've made up my own dialect of sign language. This morning, I thought I was just like Ariel from "The Little Mermaid." Some evil witch had taken my voice away too overnight. I think her name was Ursula. I just remember her having tentacles instead of legs and her pet eels made my skin crawl. Admittedly I was on a cocktail of medications for my sore throat, runny nose, cough, fever, etc etc. Still, lemonade right?

Well, not really... the novelty of the disappearance of my voice worn off quite quickly. Not only did it feel like there was a tennis ball stuck in my throat but I couldn't stand not being able to communicate. It's really been an inconvenience for me. This evening, my brother started concocting his own string of rhythms while I was sleeping on the couch. Without thinking twice, I opened my mouth to ask him to please stop. What came out wasn't so much words but a raspy gasp of breaths. Annoyed, I sat up and gave him a dirty look. He saw my face and shrunk down into slump, going back to his snack. Not my proudest moment at all but being so sleep deprived for the past couple days I wasn't able to think of a better way. I'm fortunate to have him as my brother.

Although I've been rather disappointed with my lack of voice, it has been interesting to explore different ways of communication. Whispers have gotten the job done for the most part but sometimes more exuberant gesticulations are needed. Pointing greatly helps as well. My sister gave me a pad of paper but surprisingly I have gotten along without it just fine. Surprisingly I haven't had as much trouble with the communication but with the initiation of it. It's actually incredibly hard to attract someone's attention without speaking or being rude. I've found that light taps on the couch do just fine. Or clapping as a last resort but I'm not too fond of it.

I really can't wait till I get my voice back but at the same time, I think it has been good to experience losing something that is taken for granted so easily. When we open our mouths, to hear own voices is such a automatic response. And when you lose that, it's slightly disorientating. It requires one to be more creative and more importantly, I don't think it hurts to treasure something a little more after an experience as such. After all, you don't know what you've got till it's gone.